LATIN FOR THE SEA

the personal blog of Maris Kaplan

Steinbeck's Take On Love

“There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.”

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

after a shitty day and a serendipitous night

I went to work at the grocery store, and my cat tagged along as usual. The grocery store was in a large warehouse that was shared by a neighboring auto mechanic, and the cat would wander freely back and forth. I was stacking some fruit when a woman came up to me and told me that she had seen a cat on the loose here several times, and if she saw him again she was going to take him. I got really worried and started looking for my cat. I saw him walk into the back room and ran after him. When he saw that I was trying to catch him he ran away, and I chased him down the hall and out the back door where he scaled a fence and jumped down to the other side.

I ran to the front of the warehouse, around the mechanic’s and to the side where my cat had escaped to. I saw him on the other side of the street, approaching some kind of rodent that stood still on the sidewalk. I watched as my cat tried to coax the rat to come with him, and it struck me that they were close- they knew each other. The rat tried to go one way, and my cat grabbed it and started dragging it the other way. He didn’t want to let the rat go. When the rat started to struggle, my cat put the rat’s head in his mouth and very slowly started biting down- it seemed he was trying to get the rat to calm down. All of a sudden I could see with extreme detail that my cat was applying more and more pressure- I saw his teeth slowly fracture the rat’s skull, its head contorting slightly. The rat let out a long, high pitched moan that wouldn’t stop. Its mouth was wide open, and it opened wider and wider. Like an extreme zoom, its mouth filled my vision, opening wider until it looked like it would break backwards, with that pitiful cry filling my ears.

Then I woke up.

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

A week ago I got the rejection letter, the one I had been waiting 3 months for. I went and bought a bottle of Bulleit. I drank half of it in the yard while chain smoking and letting my mind take its due course. When I was good and drunk I went to lie down, and saw this light playing on the curtains. Then I fell asleep.

LANA DEL REY-BLUE JEANS (by LanaDelRey)

I haven’t fallen for Lana the way others have, but I really like this song in particular. It reminds me of this song in a wonderful way.

Indie Fucks' Wedding: A Playlist of Love Songs

I was going to have a productive day but then found this playlist I made while helping with wedding music, so I put it on 8tracks. All the songs have ‘love’ in the title…

Love Love Love    - The Mountain Goats   
Real Love (iTunes Session)  -  Beach House   
Sea Of Love (Remastered)   - Cat Power  
You Love Me - DeVotchKa   
Words Of Love - (Buddy Holly)   - Jessica Lea Mayfield 
Your Love Is Forever - (George Harrison)    -  Ben Bridwell   
Some Kinda Love    - The Velvet Underground   
No One’s Gonna Love You   -  Band of Horses   
The Book Of Love   -   The Magnetic Fields   
Teenage Lovesong  -    Rilo Kiley  
Satellite of Love  -  Lou Reed  
Hot Love    -  T Rex  
You Can’t Only Love When You Want To    -    Strange Boys 
Love And Some Verses    -  Iron & Wine   
Love’s Been Good To Me    -   Johnny Cash   
I Love You   -    The Velvet Underground  
Dance Me To The End Of Love   -   Madeleine Peyroux        

I was packing up the car, and had several kittens in a box that I was going to take to the vet. We were someplace like the house I grew up in, the house was at the top of a small hill and there was a wooded area off the side of the road at the bottom. I saw one of the kittens roaming around near the wooded area and I asked my father to try and go get him. All of a sudden two large creatures appeared out of the shadows, they looked like large shaggy cats with no tails. I heard my father say “uh oh.” They approached the kitten and I knew they were going to try and kill it. I yelled at my father to try and stop them, but he just stood there with his arms crossed, shaking his head. I screamed at him to do something, even though I knew he was old and in pain and could not get there in time. I yelled at the wild cats to try and scare them. They cornered the kitten against a log and one slowly bit the kitten’s neck. I ran down the hill yelling and they all scattered. I chased the wounded kitten into the woods and as I searched I knew the wild cats were nearby and would come after me. I managed to grab the kitten and I felt its sticky blood on my hands. The kitten squirmed with pain, jumped out of my arms, and ran off into the shadows. I stood there among the trees looking at the blood on my hands, there were lots of dry yellow leaves all over the ground and the light was very golden, and I knew that the kitten was going to die somewhere.

Then I woke up.